I have so far written ONE PAGE. ONE. I’ve made up lots of stories but I just can’t WRITE IT DOWN. AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGHH why is this so hard? I love writing, I just can’t write sequentially anymore.
What is WRONG with me?
Wait, don’t answer that….
Ok, I’m off to write another page. Hopefully this one will make sense.
What is my carbon footprint?
I have no idea. The calculators are weird to me. I don’t have a car, I commute everywhere. I don’t keep track of my energy bills. I don’t turn off my computer when I’m not using it, but then, I’m using it more than not. I have energy efficient bulbs in most of my lights. I eat meat (organic/grassfed when I can get it) and organic vegetables when I can. I’ll walk the extra blocks to a farmer’s market rather than buy cheap yukky veggies, but I eat meat so that somehow increases my carbon footprint. So those stupid calculators make ME feel like I’m doing something wrong, but the vegetarian hippie who drives a hybrid SUV down to the mall to buy Free People clothes and more LUSH soaps gets a pass.
That’s not very motivating.
Am I going to stop eating meat because of it? No, probably not. Am I going to give up and run out and buy a car without paying attention to the gas mileage? Again, no, probably not. I just find those calculators unconvincing and unhelpful. Am I going to stop caring about the climate? No. But I would like a concrete way that I can see myself making a difference. It’s too bad there isn’t really one.
How exactly do you get to slap that title after your name? It’s not like there is any nationally recognized certification (not in the US anyway). There are hordes of cheesy courses available from people who somehow made themselves professionals without taking any courses and instead teaching them.
And what does that really mean, anyway? You smell better? You heal people with smell? How do you prove that you’ve healed that, and that it was your smells that did it? What a goofy, weird thing to say. “Hi, I’ve made a profession out of claiming that I healed people with odor.” “Can you prove that?” “Sure, sniff this!”
So I got this letter today from the “Fairview Property Tax Recovery, L.L.C.” letting me know that I “might” be eligible for a property tax refund for the last four years, and that they would help me at “no charge” unless a refund was received, in which case they would take 1/3 (33%) (not in quotes).
That was bad enough, but looking at the paper I noticed that many of the more important phrases "(“If you do not receive a refund, you pay nothing”) were printed in light green, whereas all the important stuff (like, "you agree to pay”) was in standard black. So they could easily photocopy the form and claim that you had agreed to something you didn’t, and that you had signed a contract with a totally different company. (Yes, every time their name appears on the form, it’s in easily replaceable light green, as well as their address – and for that matter, their BBB symbol.)
Who would fall for this?
How could this NOT raise huge red flags in your common sense? (or even light green ones?) In fact, it’s completely obvious from the way the letter is printed that a) it’s a form and not a document they created themselves and b) they have in the past put a different name in there because c) whoever printed this copy didn’t pay attention to the alignment of the company name and the rest of the text.
Cheesy. Stupid. Who would fall for this?
Why am I not in this racket? Oh, that’s right, I wasn’t raised by bottom feeding scum-suckers and I don’t prey on the weak-minded or the disadvantaged.
Why can’t I make hats? Or at least, hats for other people? Other people in different states whose heads I can’t measure?
Every attempt at making a hat for my mom has failed, and she loves hats, so this disturbs me. I apparently have a bigger head/like my hats looser than she does, so using my poofy head doesn’t work. I tried an actual measurement, but then screwed up on the increases/decreases (it was a beret) and ended up with a head devouring mushroom – but the brim was the right size.
Is it because I secretly dislike hats? Is it because hats are insanely boring? Or is it just because I only have my own head to use and my head is not yarn-based hat friendly? Well that’s not true, because the lovely doily-based beret that I made for myself came out just fine. Hrmmmm… mystery.
It's made worse by children asking for things you can't afford. At least they're not my children, so their bitter disappointment will only affect me temporarily. Meanwhile and much more importantly, job hunting sucks. Especially at the end of the year. No one will make decisions. No one will even freaking call back. Whatever happened to rejection letters? Can't I even get a rejection email? Just a 'your resume indicates that you're horribly overqualified for this position' email? Apparently it takes three months or something like that to find a job that pays $40,000, and you're supposed to add on another month for each $10,000. So I guess I still have some time to go....
In the meantime, everyone gets tiny presents spread out over the course of the whole year.
Actually, it's kind of unjust of me not to like them based on one person, but that's how it works. They have a "free one week offer" on their website, and say that they take payment by PayPal. Only they don't, because apparently PayPal is too hard for them to understand. And so is following up with their would be customers.
It's a free offer, but of course you have to pay for shipping. Which is fine. But isn't micropayments what PayPal does? Why is it so hard to send someone an invoice after they sent an email asking for one? Instead, they never responded to my email, and then sent me a notice saying my order was cancelled. I was feeling a little snippy, so I sent them a mean-spirited email pointing out that they had never asked me to pay, and that's why they never got their money.
In response, the Co-Founder himself replied, all high and mighty, proclaiming that "PayPal is quite cumbersome for us as a retailer on the item you requested. Their process does not work 100% of the time with the Free One Week item." Really. Also, "Sending you an invoice would not fix the issue, therefore it was not sent." Of course. Sending an email response asking for money, or even saying, "we don't take PayPal for this item" would not have worked - in Bizarro Land! And finally, he ended by claiming "Our customer service rating is in the high ninety percentile overall, you can check our testimonial page. Furthermore, I will send you a one week supply for free and you can enjoy it AND never order from us again if you wish – your choice. All credit card orders are shipped same day and reach their destination within 2-3 business days via USPS." Apparently, Louisiana is a lot farther away than I thought because it's been a month now. Nothing was sent. Or if it was, I haven't gotten it. But I don't want to send back an email and complain again, because there's no polite way to answer. I can call him a lazy liar who doesn't make good on his promises but what does it matter? I'm just a cheap good for nothing who wanted something for free, and doesn't have a real credit card and wanted to use PoorPal instead.
Evertain is only interested in the rich customers they farm from the dental offices. They're not really in tune with the internet, which is too bad I guess. I'll never know if their product is any good, at any rate. But I can tell you their people are not.
I'm broke. My job sucks, and is sucking my will to live. I'm searching for a new one, but in the meantime I'm behind on well, everything. You name it, it's late. Including my promised raise! ISN'T THAT NICE?
So sometimes I contemplate getting a Personal Loan but I have terrible terrible credit (which of course is getting worse by the day) and if I don't get a new job I won't be able to pay it back. Even though you can get Unsecured Personal Loans without collateral, I would still like to imagine that someday I'll be able to pay off all my debt, and it would be very irresponsible of me to get a loan that I couldn't pay off.
My needs aren't that great, I guess I could just cut down on food. Luckily I don't drive so I don't need to buy gas or worry about Car Loans. I just have the basic problems: mortgage, utilities, food.... Thank god I don't have children to worry about! Or a major illness! (*knocks on wood*) Then I wouldn't be question if I should get a loan, I'd be wondering which one.
