First, Seriousness. If I were president, I would implement some real economic relief, starting from the ground up. A real and reliable health care system, for one thing. Then some tax reform based on reality and not American households and business structures that existed in the 1940's. Basically, I'd start taking care of things at home instead of worrying so much about what's going on in some region that gives us no economic or political advantage. Security? Does that even matter anymore? Our current security state is the equivalent of having locked all the doors and windows while we're suffocating slowly at home. Also, all the curtains are open and the doors are made of glass. Clean up at home first. Take care of the log in your own eye before dealing with the mote in anyone else's.
Second, Humor. If I were president, I would force the entire RIAA, the FCC and the authors of the DMCA and any legislator who supports any of the above alphabet soup groups to watch nothing but commercial television and listen to nothing but commercial radio until they realize how much it SUCKS. Then force them to strip those ridiculous laws and write ones that would permit a return of our country to a state of creative development instead of padding the pockets of idiots with big lawyers. Oh, and I wouldn't let the lawyers ever turn off the tv or the radio until their brains melt. We have too many lawyers anyway. And if they don't write the laws I like, they keep watching. We can always elect new legislators. We have too many of those too. Same with lobbyists. We could tape their reactions and make a reality show out of that. It'd be great!
Third, there is no third part. Or if there was, I've forgotten it. I wouldn't make a very good president. Dictator, yes. President, not so much.
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